Men and Food
by rosalie alice
Summary: Men and their food.... *sigh*
1. Pomegranates

**Teddy and Victoire have an interesting conversation… with pomegranates. But then an argument brews, and what exactly happens when Victoire blurts something out?**

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"Guess who?"

"Hi Teddy."

"Jeez Toire, at least humor me. How'd you know anyway?"

"It's that pomegranate-y smell that your hands get when you've been pigging out on pomegranates. Not to mention your fingers are stained red…"

"Pomegranate-y? Really Toire, use some Head Girl vocabulary!"

"First Teddy, why not get some Head Boy maturity? And while you're at it, don't call me Toire!"

"But Toire…"

"But Teddy-weddy…"

"Fine, you win this one."

"And exactly how many have you won?"

"Going by my count, it's about 320-230 going to me."

"Your count is always off by about 200 or so!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Uh-huh!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Uh-huh!"

"I AM RIGHT! And you know it Toire!!!"

"DON"T CALL ME TOIRE!"

"Jeez, you two fight like an old married couple…"

"SHUT UP JAMES!"

"If you insist. Personally, I'd rather not be here."

"That's right James, run!"

"Really Teddy. Mind deflating your head?"

"Eurgh. What's with you today? Or more like everyday this summer!"

"Me?!?! What's with you?! At least _I_ don't strut around Hogwarts acting all prattish just because I've got practically the whole female population swooning for me!"

"I do NOT strut. And even if I did, it's not like I'm YOU! Just have to flick my hair to have all the boys in Hogwarts, don't you?"

"That is ridiculous! You KNOW I'm part Veela!"

"And you KNOW that's what does it!"

"Does what?"

"Er—nothing."

"Tell me Teddy…"

"AGH!!! NOT THE SOFT SHINY HAIR FLIP!!!

"Soft shiny hair flip?"

"Er—uh… no! No! I said, eh… uhm… weird, whiny, ugh…"

"Teddy? Teddy are you okay?"

"Actually, no…"

"What was that?"

"No. No I am not bloody well damn it! It's you!"

"Me? But—"

"Let me finish! Yes, it's you, and your hair it's so long and soft and red, and it's your personality, and your laugh, and most of all it's your eyes… They're so bright and blue… You''re like the perfect pomegranate seed, just the perfect size, shape and taste, and a beautiful intense red…"

"What?!?! You're joking, right? I mean what have you ever saw in me, I mean, you're handsome, smart, a Quidditch player, sexy---"

…

"And you can kiss very well actually…"

"What was that last word again? Sexy? Hmm…"

"Stop smirking Teddy Lupin! I seem to recall _you_ comparing _me_ to a pomegranate seed."

"Perfect comparison if you ask me Toire."

"Next thin I know you'll be comparing me to a licorice wand…"

"There's actually a good comparison you know. Actually you're like—"

…

"Brilliant kisser you are yourself Weasley!"

"Thanks Lupin."

"Hey, after all that's happened, can I call you Toire now?"

**-------------------**

**And that is my quick little Teddy/Victoire blurb if you will. Came to me the other day while eating some chocolate. Chocolate to pomegranates, interesting…**

**BTW: Toire, is pronounced twa-AH, as Victoire is pronounced vic-twa-AH.**

**And yes, I went against what's true, Teddy and Victoire are in the same year. Possible two-shot if I can manage it, but for now, this is complete.**


	2. Popcorn

**Rose and Scorpius are best friends, along with Albus. They're like the next Trio. Rose and Scopius have a conversation… with popcorn. **

**And then good, ole Al walks in…**

**-------------------------**

"Scorp, guess who?"

"Don't call me Scorp Rose!"

"How'd you know it was me?"

"You're the only one who calls me Scorp! Now I know your cousin Victoire feels… Want some popcorn?"

"Didn't you use to have a thing for my dear old cousin? And yes, I would like some. You and your popcorn…"

"No!"

"Then why were you always asking about her?"

"Well, I , Er—uhm…"

"Never mind, I'll drop it… for now."

"Don't I recall _you_ asking _me_ about Dean Finnigan?"

"Really? I don't remember…"

"You're blushing"

"Am not!"

"Honestly Rose. I've known you since we were 11, now we're fifteen. I think I can tell when you're lying"

"Well if _I _recall correctly, me asking about Finnigan is how we became friends."

"Ah really? So you admit you were asking about him?"

"Fine… but I'm sure you remember, since my memory is a bit faulty."

"Yeah, I do actually. You fancied him, and didn't want to ask Al, seeing as he'd definitely tease you, so you asked me since I'm his roommate and I remember that I, being the total gentleman that I am, courteously reminded you that he was quite infatuated with Miss Fawcett, of Ravenclaw."

"Courtesously?!?! You were anything but! You flat out laughed at me!"

"Really? But you're memory is faulty. Plus I'm the one who transfigured my mouse into a teacup first. Wasn't yours squeaking everytime it was touched?"

"Hmph. Transfiguration has nothing to do with the matter at hand."

"Ha! It does…. Well, maybe not. But I beat the unbeatable Rose for once!"

"Unbeatable, why thank you!"

"Well, technically not anymore…"

"Hey! My brains is all I've got!"

"No, no it isn't Rose. Don't ever say that."

"Scorp, I was just joking…"

"It wasn't funny. You're so much more than smarts. You're funny, popular, and beautiful. You've got the reddest hair, which I think is beautiful and your eyes are the brightest blue… You're like that perfect piece of popcorn. The one that has the most buttery, crunchiest, delicious taste, the one that is unique to the bunch… "

"Popcorn Scorp? You''re comparing me to—"

…

"Bloody hell! That was amazing!"

"Well, I am pretty good, aren't I?"

"Shut up Malfoy."

"Yes Weasley"

…

"Hey guys! Been looking for you everywhere, I—er uhm, _awkward_… I'll just be going now…"

**-----------------------**

**That was Albus at the end by the way. Now people might hate me for the whole Rose/Scorpius thing, but I felt it was really, sort of **_**implied**_** at the end in the DH Epilogue. And even if it wasn't…**

**Oh! By the way, that was Al at the end. I just love that kid! Harry gave him a crazy name though, and Ginny actually agreed…**

**And also everyone mentioned is in Gryffindor (where dwell the brave of heart.) And Dean Finnigan? I've always thought Seamus/Lavender and well Dean Thomas **_**was**_** his best friend, so… It's kinda cute I thought! Review!**


	3. Baked Potatoes

**Yeah, I know. It's slash you might hate me for it! But it had to be done. I really hate George/Angelina… it's so blegh. So that's why this is George/Katie! They're cute, and possibly one of my favorite ships. But I can't say no to a well-written Katie/Oliver fic either.**

**------------**

"_The sea is wine red, this is the death of beauty…._"

"BEAUTY IS DYING?!?! Oh no! Not Beauty, what will Beast do?!?!"

"Oh shut up George, you prat. It's only a song… and since when do you know about 'Beauty and the Beast'?? It's a muggle thing!"

"Well, when you have my dad, you get to know about the strangest muggle things. Does the erm—VPR thingy in secret so Mum won't yell."

"Aah, you mean VCR?"

"That's what I said!"

"Sure…"

"Anyway, I'm headed to the kitchens. I have a hankering for a baked potato. Care to join me?"

"Didn't you have at least eight of those at dinner?!"

"Well… it was nine, but you can never have to many!"

"Potato freak."

"Erm- disgrace to all things potato-ey."

"Potato-ey? Nice one Weasley."

"Thanks Bell."

"Do you know the meaning of sarcasm?"

"Isn't that what Harry always uses? Its tiring."

"I must agree ol' chap."

…

"What's with the scowl Weasley?"

"Nothing… You know you're like the perfect baked potato."

"Really… do tell the resemblance."

"Oh it's a metamorphic thing really."

"You mean metaphoric?"

"That's what I said!"

"Right… you were saying?"

"Well your hair is like the buttery golden potato, and you're eyes are like the tasty green onions and your freckles are like the little speckles of pepper and then you, yourself are like the perfect shape…"

"Are you saying I'm shaped like a potato?!?!"

"No…. I'm saying you have a perfect shape, just as the perfect potato would have a certain shape that is specific to its potato perfectionism."

"Potatoes have to have a specific shape?"

"Yep."

"You're strange Weasley."

"As I was saying, you have all the characteristics that remind of a perfect baked potato. Which is why I'm going to do this."

…

…

…

"What the bloody hell was that George?!"

"You didn't seem to mind Katie-kates! In fact, you responded back."

"Er—well… Did you call me 'Katie-kates'?

"Why yes I did. And I'm about to it again, Katie-kates."

"Whatever Weasley."

…

"Took me by surprise Bell. Bloody good kisser you are though."

"Well I've had a lot of practice."

"Practice? What does that mean Katie? Katie? KATIE COME BACK!"

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**And that was a little bit of slash (even though it should be canon). **

**Is this getting to cliché? Sorry if it is, but I have fun writing these.**

**BTW: The song Katie was singing is "Wine Red" by the Hush Sound. Best band ever! Funny how I discovered them through a particularly good piece of fanfiction…**

**Stay tuned! I plan to add two or three more chapters before I end this piece.**


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